Pam Y. Fields

I was reading some posts by white people who seem to understand the systemic nature of racism. I agree with what they were saying. However, I felt like something was missing.

People always get all warm and fuzzy when they see black people forgiving their white perpetrators and yes, we need to forgive. However, that’s the problem. It is all one-sided.

Black people have to forgive.

Black people have to inform white people and prove to them the struggles and issues of racism that black people have to endure every day.

Black people have to protest, advocate and risk much for justice and equity.

Black people have to adapt their lives and be sensitive to the situations they are in constantly.

Black people have to give, give, give with no or little opportunities to receive.

Black people have to convince everyone else that we are worthy, have value and are due dignity, respect, just, and humane treatment.

People were so touched by the brother’s forgiveness yet upset with the mother’s critique. We see this all the time. I wonder if people realize that these collective reactions feel like a slap in our face. Yet again we are told, albeit not verbally, to suck it up and do the right thing. That thing that makes white people feel better and less anxious.

I am a person of peace but I AM TIRED!!!!!!

To those white people who are woke and understand the depths of racism we are dealing with, I say:

IT’S TIME TO SPEAK, ACT AND RISK

You must speak to everyone in your sphere of influence and even create larger networks and start informing everyone and having those hard conversations that are necessary

You must show up in a supportive and encouraging way – physically showing up at rallies and protests, materially showing up by voting for those who will help to dismantle this foundation of racism, whether they are in the party you typically vote for or not

You must risk as much as black people have to risk every day of their lives. Risk your family, your friends, your job, your community for the sake of justice and equity.

Matthew 23:23

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

Dallas has been in a tension-filled state for a while now and even the verdict and sentencing have not alleviated the tension. Things said during the trial actually added to the tension. We all agree that the police have a burden to bear and must implement change. However, I believe that we all have a burden to bear and must also be willing to implement change. Change in our thinking, beliefs, and behaviors.

One example of this I experienced this past weekend in a small town called Mulkiteo, WA. One year ago, my godson and another young man were murdered in Mulkiteo. One year later as things are winding down, my sister asked about some type of memorial for my godson. One of the officers took the lead and solicited for donations from the staff. They raised enough money to pay for a park bench with a plaque on it commemorating the life of my godson (see picture). Hence, my trip to Mulkiteo.

(Pictures: The bench, the view from the bench, my sister and one of the police hugging, me and my two sisters talking with one of the police.)

However, that’s only part of the story. We heard many stories from police staff (officers, detectives, victim advocates – from Mulkiteo and the county of Snohomish – see picture). I also talked with the mayor and she said they were intentional about hiring diverse staff and having the staff undergo diversity training. The police chief is Asian, they have women and men in all different positions. Some of them even got emotional when telling their stories.

It gave me hope and something to hold onto as I made my way back to Dallas and the uncertainties of the Guyger trial. Yes, we need to change. And yes, there is hope that change is possible. They are changing things in Mulkiteo, WA and it shows us that we can change things in Dallas, TX. Be encouraged and be ready, willing and able to do your part.

God of Mercy, God of Grace, God of Love

I pray for Your peace, Your justice and Your healing everywhere around the world. We can’t turn on the news without hearing of people killing, hurting, mistreating or oppressing others.

I know You are not pleased with this and my heart breaks for this world.

I call on all true believers to pray!

Pray for God’s Peace!

Peace even in the midst of all the chaos in this world.

No more weapons (biological, physical or mental) turned on people.

Peace that yields a fervent and consistent truce among all peoples everywhere.

Pray for God’s Justice!

That all wrong will be made right!

That people will not have to live in fear and confusion!

That people, all people, can and do contribute and receive as they are blessed.

Pray for God’s Healing!

That all will be made anew in God’s image.

That all will find and walk into their God purpose.

That people will be helpful, kind and loving to one another.

God of Mercy, God of Grace, God of Love

My heart breaks every time I hear of yet another family or people group being ripped apart. How have we gotten to such a state? How can we turn things around?

For me, turning things around begins with Visible Unity, my nonprofit that is “Bringing People Together Through Reconciliation To Unity.”

Check out our website and come join us!

Blessings

My most recent Random Act of Interaction came a few weeks ago, somewhat by accident. At the Retirement Dinner for a dear friend from high school, I sat with members of his family. Kita sat next to me, and everyone at the table joined in a conversation about parenting and grand-parenting. I expressed a couple of thoughts based on my complete lack of inexperience in either department. Somehow, I mentioned that I had gone through a relationship difficulty many years ago. Kita noticed the comment, and asked me to talk a bit more about my experience. As we talked, I learned that she had a similar, but more recent experience. A spark went off in my heart. As much pain as I went through so many years ago, I could see a way to express to her the things that helped me cope, and the joy I now feel, having emerged on the other side. She also helped me to see the strength she has, knowing who she is and wanting to be true to herself. It was a wonderful, bonding experience that only happened because Kita was willing to step a little outside her comfort zone and engage with someone that, on the surface, seemed to have very little in common with her. Thank you, Kita. And thank you, Visible Unity, for giving us a place to record these experiences. Take the challenge, and then record your experience on social media, or http://www.visibleunityinc.org, with hashtags #RandomActsofInteraction and #ComfortZoneSucks so others will be inspired by your story.

My most recent Random Act of Interaction came a few weeks ago, somewhat by accident. At the Retirement Dinner for a dear friend from high school, I sat with members of his family. Kita sat next to me, and everyone at the table joined in a conversation about parenting and grand-parenting. I expressed a couple of thoughts based on my complete lack of inexperience in either department. Somehow, I mentioned that I had gone through a relationship difficulty many years ago. Kita noticed the comment, and asked me to talk a bit more about my experience. As we talked, I learned that she had a similar, but more recent experience. A spark went off in my heart. As much pain as I went through so many years ago, I could see a way to express to her the things that helped me cope, and the joy I now feel, having emerged on the other side. She also helped me to see the strength she has, knowing who she is and wanting to be true to herself. It was a wonderful, bonding experience that only happened because Kita was willing to step a little outside her comfort zone and engage with someone that, on the surface, seemed to have very little in common with her. Thank you, Kita. And thank you, Visible Unity, for giving us a place to record these experiences. Take the challenge, and then record your experience on social media, or http://www.visibleunityinc.org, with hashtags #RandomActsofInteraction and #ComfortZoneSucks so others will be inspired by your story.

#RandomActsofInteraction
I just returned from a conference hosted by the Ponca tribe that was focused on Environmental Justice. I was hesitant about going because I have always had mixed feelings about Native Americans. However, I truly believe that if all people of color can come together and build relationships, then we can each support one another in our fights. The bottom line is we are all fighting the same thing – oppression, discrimination and corruption.

So, I came out of my comfort zone and went to the conference. I engaged in conversations and fully participated in the conference and now I have a better understanding of where Native Americans are coming from and I’m even more ready and willing to build relationships with them. Out of about 200 attendees, there were 7 Black people present, probably a dozen or so white people, maybe about the same number of Hispanic/Latino people and the rest were Native American. I hope that I was also able to encourage some of them about the importance of building relationships with other people of color. I even put it out there that for those interested, they could call upon me for assistance.

Sometimes it pays to stretch out of your comfort zone. 

#ComfortZoneSucks @VisibleUnity
I challenge you!

Random Acts of Interaction is a challenge that forces one out of their comfort zone to interact with a person one normally would avoid. Below is a readout of my interaction. Now, I challenge you.

I attended Girls Night Out, a monthly get together of about 20 women of diverse backgrounds and ethnicities. My dear friend Sylvia organizes the monthly gatherings and although I am not always able to attend, I love the idea of women getting together to do fun things. No husbands, no children, no work, just pure female fun!

On April 8-10, I attended the Othering & Belonging Conference in Oakland, CA. It was so great to be in the midst of like-minded people. I have added new activities, new vocabulary, new books and a renewed excitement for this work. One term that I want to share right now is Belonging. They use the term belonging rather than inclusion. Inclusion still has hierarchy attached to it. We, people of color, are being included in the majority work. However, Belonging is where all people come together and co-create their community/society. Thus, the opposite of ‘othering’ is belonging. Othering splits people into groups (breaking) but belonging allows for all and welcomes all (bridging).

This has been the work of Visible Unity from the beginning. We seek to bring diverse people together and help them to develop relationships across cultures. In the words of Othering & Belonging, we have been building a bigger ‘we’.

At the conference a poem by Warsan Shire was recited by a young person.

Home by Warsan Shire

no one leaves home unless
home is the mouth of a shark
you only run for the border
when you see the whole city running as well

your neighbors running faster than you
breath bloody in their throats
the boy you went to school with
who kissed you dizzy behind the old tin factory
is holding a gun bigger than his body
you only leave home
when home won’t let you stay.

no one leaves home unless home chases you
fire under feet
hot blood in your belly
it’s not something you ever thought of doing
until the blade burnt threats into
your neck
and even then you carried the anthem under
your breath
only tearing up your passport in an airport toilet
sobbing as each mouthful of paper
made it clear that you wouldn’t be going back.

you have to understand,
that no one puts their children in a boat
unless the water is safer than the land
no one burns their palms
under trains
beneath carriages
no one spends days and nights in the stomach of a truck
feeding on newspaper unless the miles travelled
means something more than journey.
no one crawls under fences
no one wants to be beaten
pitied

no one chooses refugee camps
or strip searches where your
body is left aching
or prison,
because prison is safer
than a city of fire
and one prison guard
in the night
is better than a truckload
of men who look like your father
no one could take it
no one could stomach it
no one skin would be tough enough

the
go home blacks
refugees
dirty immigrants
asylum seekers
sucking our country dry
niggers with their hands out
they smell strange
savage
messed up their country and now they want
to mess ours up
how do the words
the dirty looks
roll off your backs
maybe because the blow is softer
than a limb torn off

or the words are more tender
than fourteen men between
your legs
or the insults are easier
to swallow
than rubble
than bone
than your child body
in pieces.
i want to go home,
but home is the mouth of a shark
home is the barrel of the gun
and no one would leave home
unless home chased you to the shore
unless home told you
to quicken your legs
leave your clothes behind
crawl through the desert
wade through the oceans
drown
save
be hunger
beg
forget pride
your survival is more important

no one leaves home until home is a sweaty voice in your ear
saying-
leave,
run away from me now
i dont know what i’ve become
but i know that anywhere
is safer than here